tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25516739925503809122024-03-14T01:02:19.766-07:00Conversations with a WallEver changing life lessons, experiences and personal reminders.Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.comBlogger406125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-52618591486234844852016-05-07T03:51:00.001-07:002016-05-07T03:51:58.071-07:00Its a Trap<p dir="ltr">I don't like to be a part of fake people and lies.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-22687385061154337042016-04-20T08:09:00.001-07:002016-04-20T08:09:23.157-07:00Birthday Thoughts<p dir="ltr">27 years on this <u>planet</u> and I have so many regrets of the heart already.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-3577397272253995752016-04-01T23:16:00.001-07:002016-04-01T23:16:23.113-07:00Working Out To Work It Off<p dir="ltr">I work out to work off all those feelings of me not being good enough for anyone. After a session of a rigorous work out, I feel better about myself. At least I'm in control of some part of my self.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-23835423823848291962016-03-29T06:59:00.001-07:002016-03-29T06:59:14.419-07:00Hypocrite Metalheads<p dir="ltr">Why do these Malaysian guys in really heavy metal bands, who seem to be so badass, choose the politest and nicest looking girls in hijabs? I find it very hypocritical of those guys. Very badass persona, and yet they choose the most religious girls. How does that work? Malaysian rockers and metalheads.. As if! What a bunch of hypocrites.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-76269380611371155982016-01-14T22:41:00.001-08:002016-01-14T22:41:40.852-08:00The Real Desire<p dir="ltr">Even your soul knows what you really need. But your nafs keeps screwing things up. </p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-42352009260315498792016-01-11T18:11:00.001-08:002016-01-11T18:11:18.827-08:00Giving Back<p dir="ltr">If it is time for you to step up to the plate, will you take it on and contribute? In a way, I feel good about being able to help my dad out with taking a car loan under my name, since he told me that he's unable to. You can never repay what your parents did for you when you were young and unable to support yourself. Although I didn't feel that the support lasted long, I'm still grateful for the years before, and the things that I'm unaware of in the years after. I wish I'm more aware of the more recent ones. Still, I'm glad to be given the opportunity to give back now. Alhamdulillah. I hope it all works out well and that I'm able to contribute in bigger ways. </p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-36619891698186321732016-01-06T01:59:00.001-08:002016-01-06T01:59:39.447-08:00New Plan<p dir="ltr">My plan has become to work for the sake of collecting funds, while I improve my portfolio for my desired job during my free time. </p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-46913751146254548582016-01-04T10:11:00.001-08:002016-01-04T10:49:36.721-08:00Messed Up Things<p dir="ltr">Forget about the millions of crazy and bad Muslims who have forgotten and lost their way, including myself. You said you believed in the One and only God but not in Islam? The translations of Al Ikhlas and Ayatul Kursi is already describing what you have known in your heart.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Please take a moment to read them. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Do you agree with what is written in those surahs? I am only doing this because I want to share a beautiful feeling with someone that I love. I am sorry for how bad and stupid I have been acting because I was still very hurt by your previous comments. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Why do you judge a religion based on the people? Shouldn't we judge a religion based on its base beliefs? </p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-77064361268417731652016-01-04T09:45:00.001-08:002016-01-04T10:13:15.104-08:00Badly Need A Change<p dir="ltr">I see these people with nice lives. I want a nice life too. Change of environment, especially work. I want an enjoyable job, with fun and nice people. Not a workplace that I dread going to, with people that I dread facing. I have too much bad history with them. I can pinpoint where it all started and I wasn't even being a bad or toxic employee. But I couldn't leave for fear of being jobless or earning a lower salary. I was still a fresh graduate. Not anymore. Please pray for me that I find a better opportunity elsewhere soon.. </p>
<p dir="ltr">It's been a while since I last posted here. I read my old posts, and it feels like they came from another person. That is super scary. But also very comforting in a sense that those old words comfort my current self. I have changed a lot on the inside, the state of my mental health. So much has happened these past few months. I stayed away from online interactions and kept my online activities to a bare minimum. And now I think I'm back. I might be gone again if I don't feel too good being connected, who knows. </p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-21519526556890877062015-04-28T09:02:00.001-07:002015-04-28T09:02:27.889-07:00Thankfulness and Remembrance<p>Remember when you were so worried about getting a good job that you love? Now you have the benefit of experiencing that job satisfaction that many people can only dream of. It is also a satisfaction that is crucial to sustaining life in this materialistic world. So dont worry about the other setbacks that you are currently faced with. They will all work out, step by step. Everything will fall into place. Just dont lose hope and keep finding solutions to your problems. Never ever let yourself get stuck in an emotional or a spiritual rut. Things will work out. One day, you will look back at these current problems that will be a thing of the past and have more things to be thankful about.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-65504317180726106802015-04-26T23:30:00.001-07:002015-04-26T23:30:35.381-07:00Awareness for Change<p>As long as you are constantly aware of your situation, there is still hope that you can get yourself out of it. That bad feeling you have in the pit of your stomach? You should get rid of it by removing the cause of that feeling. Listen to that voice. Embrace the awareness for a positive change.<br>
</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-84734890892140900412015-04-25T06:48:00.001-07:002015-04-25T06:48:59.602-07:00Your Heart<p>You can be the person with the most beautiful heart.. If only you dont let it get tainted by the evil people that you crossed paths with. Dont let your heart become ugly with anger and hurt. Protect your heart and it will become its most beautiful self once again.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-5567238181462575922015-03-27T17:58:00.001-07:002015-03-27T18:24:44.917-07:00Burning Bridges<p>May burning bridges light the way to better destinations.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-75201767621539926332015-03-12T06:56:00.001-07:002015-03-12T06:56:46.774-07:00The Face<p>If the face is a manifestation of the soul, I wonder how attractive he would still be? I wonder how I would be?</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-70564316235771814892015-03-10T10:32:00.001-07:002015-03-11T09:11:42.069-07:00New Age Female Oppression<p>Why do many girls nowadays settle for someone who does not really love them and yet they work so hard to please that person? I was one of them. I was made to believe that I am the crazy one for wanting too much. I was told this too many times until I started to doubt myself, which lead me to forgetting myself. I spoke to several girls who are still stuck in this web. They choose to brag about what they supposedly have. But underneath all that showing off, after speaking to them, I know for sure the pain that they go through for allowing themselves to settle for love that is less than what they deserve. It must be the mindset of "I wouldn't rather be alone". It takes one to know one. I have been there and I know what they are allowing themselves to go through.</p>
<p>I just want to pose this question to them: "Wouldn't you rather be alone than be with someone who makes you feel terribly alone most of the time?"</p>
<p>But the sad thing is, I think I might know the answer. They will want to stay for the brief glimpses of joy that they might get. Might. Imagine, having lost the hope for a genuine, happy future, in exchange for such fleeting joy that you know deep down will never be truly yours to share. What a wicked deal.<br>
</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-78781931085369290232015-03-05T16:43:00.001-08:002015-03-05T16:43:45.181-08:00Beautiful Morning<p>I had been really really down and lost these past few months. And finally, something very traumatizing happened last night, to cap off that extremely painful journey that I had. I did all I could to not let myself fall in that crucial moment. However, I knew I would still have to face every second of every day that comes after that, and I was very fearful that I could easily slip away and fall really hard, judging by my past.</p>
<p>As I was going about my business in the morning, this phrase kept running through my head:</p>
<p>"Wadhdhuhaa. Wallayli idzaa sajaa"</p>
<p>I felt it was a weird thing that would suddenly interject my thoughts. I thought it had something to do with the morning, due to the translation of the word, which I remember. I wanted to know the rest of the surah though, but I couldn't remember so I looked it up.</p>
<p>What hit me, really hit me home. All perfect, and poetic. It was extremely beautiful.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>In the name of Allah, Most Beneficent, Most Merciful.</p>
<p>I swear by the early hours of the day, and the night when it covers with darkness. Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased, and surely what comes after is better for you than that which has gone before. And soon will your Lord give you so that you shall be well pleased. Did He not find you an orphan and give you shelter? And find you lost (that is, unrecognized by men) and guide (them to you)? And find you in want and make you to be free from want? Therefore, for the orphan, do not oppress (him). And as for him who asks, do not chide (him). And as for the favor of your Lord, do announce (it).</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>I then knew this is His favor for me and I want to record this beautiful moment in writing. It's as close as I can get in reliving this perfect moment when I reread it. In a way, also announcing this good news, to anyone who might be reading.</p>
<p>He has been very merciful to me. He knew I couldn't handle the trauma by myself this time, after the pain that I went through before this. So He sent me good people and guidance when I needed them the most. I shall indeed pass the good vibes around. Positivity breeds positivity.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-7340255060650246002015-02-16T08:43:00.001-08:002015-02-16T08:48:58.903-08:00Providence. Where and When You Least Expect It<p>It was time to go home from work and the skies weren't looking too good. I travel by public transport and need to get to the atm for my taxi fare. So rain isn't good if I had to walk to the place. But there wouldn't be enough time to catch up with the current prayer if I waited until I got back home. So I just did my prayers even though thunder was starting up all around. When I finished, rain was beginning to pour and I had to race against the rain before it starts pouring to the taxi stand (5-10 mins walk). Just when I was starting out in the rain, a colleague called out to me and offered me a ride all the way to my home. Talk about perfect timing! Even if I sought a taxi by then, there's no guarantee that any driver will want to take me due to the heavy traffic jam headed towards my area. See? Providence. Just keep up your prayers, and He will provide for you in ways that you don't even imagine.</p>
<p>I'm just writing down this memory so I can reread it when I feel my willpower running low.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-2189353153090437412015-02-16T08:10:00.001-08:002015-02-16T08:31:05.991-08:00Comfort<p>So my boss (with whom I confide some stuff in) asked me about my love life, and I told him that it's pretty confusing. He said not to give the guy too much. I'm still young. My boss is double my age and he's having a second round with love and romance (marriage).</p>
<p>"Don't give him too much". My boss knows I'm giving him too much. I didn't even tell him about it. That conversation was comforting. Ever since my first interview he knew I have this issue. I wonder what gave it away.</p>
<p>But anyhow, I'm glad I met and still keep the good people around.<br>
</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-61189636965026834792015-02-14T17:52:00.001-08:002015-02-14T17:52:38.013-08:00A<p>Every gesture, every word, and even the silence of those with whom she came in contact, implied, and often expressed, that she was banished, and as much alone as if she inhabited another sphere, or communicated with the common nature by other organs and senses than the rest of human kind. She stood apart from mortal interests, yet close beside them, like a ghost that revisits the familiar fireside, and can no longer make itself seen or felt;</p>
<p>The Scarlet Letter page 58.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-62152478731799227742015-02-11T00:28:00.001-08:002015-02-11T09:07:54.104-08:00Alhamdulillah<p>Thank you for repeatedly bringing me out of the dark and into the light. I love You.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-85757919313722226102014-12-23T06:58:00.001-08:002014-12-23T07:00:52.218-08:00Selfless<p>I wish I can be <b>completely</b> <b>selfless</b>, because everytime I start thinking of my rights, things and people get fucked up. But I'm not perfect and I still occasionally think of my needs then get angry and confused.</p>
<p>I wish I can be completely selfless. Then things would be easier. My dealings with people will be easier. Then I can go to great lengths for people and still don't care if my own needs are not met.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-70186425859245766382014-11-29T19:03:00.001-08:002014-11-29T19:03:52.642-08:00Time and Again<p>i guess i must have a huge capacity for love because my heart got broken more than once. i am afraid of my heart hardening forever because of this, if i am not careful.</p>
Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-41710683663245296452014-05-23T09:48:00.001-07:002014-05-23T09:48:50.102-07:00Keep Reading When UnsureAnd be not like those who come out of their homes boastfully and to be seen of men, and hinder (men) from the Path of Allah. And Allah is Muhit (encircling and thoroughly comprehending) all that they do.<br />
<br />
And (remember) when Satan made their (evil) deeds seem fair to them and said, "No one of mankind can overcome you this Day (of the battle of Badr) and verily, I am your neighbour (for each and every help)". But when the two forces came in sight of each other, he ran away and said "Verily! I see what you see not. Verily! I fear Allah for Allah is Severe in punishment."<br />
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When the hypocrites and those in whose hearts was a disease (of disbelief) said: "These people (Muslims) are deceived by their religion." But whoever puts his trust in Allah, then surely, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-48337128522503054252014-05-18T10:11:00.001-07:002014-05-18T10:11:09.501-07:00More RemindersAnd know that your possessions and your children are but a trial and that surely with Allah is a mighty reward.<br />
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O you who believe! If you obey and fear Allah, He will grant you Furqan a criterion [(to judge between right and wrong), or (Makhraj, i.e. making a way for you to get out from every difficulty)], and will expiate for you your sins, and forgive you, and Allah is the Owner of the Great Bounty.Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2551673992550380912.post-74755405346637691422014-04-19T05:36:00.001-07:002014-04-19T05:36:13.586-07:00Scientists Discover Brain's Anti-Distraction System<a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140418141244.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sciencedaily%2Ftop_news%2Ftop_science+%28ScienceDaily%3A+Top+Science+News%29" target="_blank">Scientists discover brain's anti-distraction system</a><br />
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I was wondering how to stay focused on life's true purpose, since I clearly have a weakness for irrelevant distractions. Hoped to find an article relating to ADHD solutions, and boom - when I got home, I came across this article on my Facebook news feed. Got the answer that I was looking for, from a scientific perspective. I hope that study will be expanded so we all can gather more ideas on how to apply it to other aspects of life.<br />
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After reading the article, just think about it. What means can you use as a suppressant for the distractions that are keeping you away from fulfilling your life's true purpose?Massive Headachehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05880442089844822707noreply@blogger.com0