Friday, February 5, 2016

When It Goes All The Way Down

Nothing matters in this life anymore. Everything has only been to make things worse. Why should I continue with life, it doesn't matter anymore. I kept trying, but no cooperation, so I might as well give up. Maybe this is what u all want me to do anyway. I don't want to wake up ever again to this evil world. Good night.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Real Desire

Even your soul knows what you really need. But your nafs keeps screwing things up.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Giving Back

If it is time for you to step up to the plate, will you take it on and contribute? In a way, I feel good about being able to help my dad out with taking a car loan under my name, since he told me that he's unable to. You can never repay what your parents did for you when you were young and unable to support yourself. Although I didn't feel that the support lasted long, I'm still grateful for the years before, and the things that I'm unaware of in the years after. I wish I'm more aware of the more recent ones. Still, I'm glad to be given the opportunity to give back now. Alhamdulillah. I hope it all works out well and that I'm able to contribute in bigger ways.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

New Plan

My plan has become to work for the sake of collecting funds, while I improve my portfolio for my desired job during my free time.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Messed Up Things

Forget about the millions of crazy and bad Muslims who have forgotten and lost their way, including myself. You said you believed in the One and only God but not in Islam? The translations of Al Ikhlas and Ayatul Kursi is already describing what you have known in your heart.

Please take a moment to read them.

Do you agree with what is written in those surahs? I am only doing this because I want to share a beautiful feeling with someone that I love. I am sorry for how bad and stupid I have been acting because I was still very hurt by your previous comments.

Why do you judge a religion based on the people? Shouldn't we judge a religion based on its base beliefs?

Badly Need A Change

I see these people with nice lives. I want a nice life too. Change of environment, especially work. I want an enjoyable job, with fun and nice people. Not a workplace that I dread going to, with people that I dread facing. I have too much bad history with them. I can pinpoint where it all started and I wasn't even being a bad or toxic employee. But I couldn't leave for fear of being jobless or earning a lower salary. I was still a fresh graduate. Not anymore. Please pray for me that I find a better opportunity elsewhere soon..

It's been a while since I last posted here. I read my old posts, and it feels like they came from another person. That is super scary. But also very comforting in a sense that those old words comfort my current self. I have changed a lot on the inside, the state of my mental health. So much has happened these past few months. I stayed away from online interactions and kept my online activities to a bare minimum. And now I think I'm back. I might be gone again if I don't feel too good being connected, who knows.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Thankfulness and Remembrance

Remember when you were so worried about getting a good job that you love? Now you have the benefit of experiencing that job satisfaction that many people can only dream of. It is also a satisfaction that is crucial to sustaining life in this materialistic world. So dont worry about the other setbacks that you are currently faced with. They will all work out, step by step. Everything will fall into place. Just dont lose hope and keep finding solutions to your problems. Never ever let yourself get stuck in an emotional or a spiritual rut. Things will work out. One day, you will look back at these current problems that will be a thing of the past and have more things to be thankful about.