zen, hopefully (present post)

i'm sick and tired of all this clutter in my life, in my head. i've always been sick of it. it's the new year already, although i don't feel anything for it.. cuz i've got nothing special planned for that particular day. heh. lame.

anyway, i'm just here, meditating, practicing. i really feel the need to train myself to be more zen. it would be nice to clear my head and have more focus in whatever i'm doing. a clear head, and more precision. it all starts in my head. sometimes i delusion myself that i'm a superhero in training, mastering the art of zen. training myself. ha. what a joke. anyways, this is real life.

i haven't been diligent in my meditation recently, though i'm working on myself to get back on track. but so far, i feel a sense of attachment to it, the enjoyment of bliss and looking forward to meditation. just now, i felt like just doing on with my exhaling.. didn't feel like breathing in, just keep on exhaling. it feels so calm.

An orchid doesn't lose its fragrance just because no one notices how good it smells.

the saying has nothing to do with the previous statements. just felt like sharing it. here's a really good meditation ambient music.



and Happy New Year! whoever you are. if you're reading this. -,-

meditation is good for the soul (present post)

just finished a roughly 20 minute breathing meditation. i feel that my life has been too frazzled, especially up in my head. the mind with its countless thoughts, is like a mad monkey. i must learn to tame it. to stay calm, relaxed. to stay focused on one single thought at a time. focused in a laser sharp line towards whatever current task it is that i've set to do. it will be especially useful to have in my arsenal, when i'm doing my job. animation's really complicated, especially with all the side problems that will arise and all the other aspects that are related to it. emotional, technical, physical, etc. my dream is to be sort of a zen master. to stay calm and focused, no matter what other hassling distractions are around me. i cannot be sidetracked, i cannot let my thoughts and emotions break me down. i will need it when i'm in foreign lands for my career. i want to go far and i need to be zen. my mum did use to take yoga lessons and wanted me to come. but that was years ago, and i didn't really feel the need for it. and now, i really need it. so i'm learning it on my own. i guess this is just a journey that i need to take alone. okay, i'm off to the conference. third and last day.