happiness and starvation

so i've been working my ass off for my group project these past few days and been coming 'home' sleeping like a dead man. never thought i'd be this hard working for my 3D work, but i'm glad in a way that i'm beginning to reach this point. plus, i think i may have found my niche as a rigging artist. i've been wrecking my brains figuring so many technical stuff out and i'm glad to say that i manage to solve almost all of them. it's very rewarding you know, to work so hard at something and being alive to see them work out. i really hope that i can make it in this industry and get a job overseas.. finally not depending on anybody and finally getting that second eyebrow piercing that i promised myself, if i ever manage to get a job overseas, in my preferred countries. it's a long, tough road, but i have a feeling that i'm finally getting some headway along it. and i'm happy. :)

bad news is, i'm currently in starvation mode, because i don't have enough money in my bank account, to even withdraw from it. sigh. i can't ask from my friends, because, i dunno, it feels too weird to be asking from them like that. sigh. at least i still have some food left, before i get more money in. hopefully. sigh. it's funny huh, how quickly money can run out for me. i've been consciously saving up to hold back from spending too much of my funds, but they always seem to finish more quickly than i expected. :( :(  i guess i am a money eating machine. :( i don't really spend as much as my friends do, on leisurely stuff, except occasionally. but when i spend occasionally, which isn't as much as what others spend on their splurge sessions, my money runs out quickly. sigh. i guess i am very poor and can't even afford leisure. sigh. i hate myself for that. which is why, i really need to be a money making machine once i start working. even now, when i'm still studying. i f ing hate being poor. ask money from my parents? oh no no noo. unless it's for something important like college fees. other than that, i feel that it really is my own responsibility if my funds run out. it would be hard to ask them for money. sigh. :( i really hope all this suffering is a good omen for my happy future, filled with money and.. happiness.