Thursday, January 6, 2011

Plans for the Road

Status: tired of reruns

so what to do? create my own epic adventure. how to do that? i got a sudden flash to just take up and leave. leave this all behind. go on a trip far away from all of this, all that i have known and gotten sick of. and maybe come back when i have truly missed them. go away somewhere, but what about money? i'm gonna bring my laptop, just so that i can stay connected. bring my guitar, so i can maybe use it to my advantage, generate some side income. but what i really want is to take off. leave. but money, how do i generate money, while i'm on the road? because i honestly feel like i can't take this anymore. i feel like i need to re write my life. a second chance at having a more enjoyable and fulfilling life. i'm thinking of inviting someone to join me in this escapade. and i think i know just the person who would most probably want this as much as i do. i tried calling him a moment ago, but he was sleeping. nevermind, i'll try again later.

but hell, i think it's selfish of me to leave my group mates behind. most probably gonna create another group of enemies who are gonna hate me for leaving them in the gutter. well last time, in school, i had a very good reason to do so. they were all leaving the work to me, taking on the ride. but still, i don't want to leave my current group mates in a mess. i still have a responsibility to help them through this sht. i can't leave right at this moment, but i can postpone it to until we get the job done. then i can leave all this f ed up sht behind. first things first. but this thought gives me hope. something to look forward to, for me to hold on to as i struggle with this current mess. it's a good motivation, though it's gonna take a lot of patience. i still have a responsibility to carry out. too bad. it's gonna take me about, 6 more months? i think. until all of this blows over. then i can escape.

i guess in the mean time, it gives me the opportunity to save up enough cash to get me started on this escapade. no really, i have this vision in my head, where i'm totally not stuck in one place, always on the move. far from monotony and depression. keeping busy and getting experience in many aspects of life. even in this state i've had several interesting experiences that are out of the norm. although some got me extremely down and feel extremely low. but that's part of the adventure. it's not always gonna be peachy.

A coward turns away, but a brave man's choice is danger.  - Euripides 

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is not safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. - Helen Keller

i'm not gonna be stuck in a job that chains me down in one place. and i'm definitely not gonna be homeless. to hell with that. i'm gonna change the course of my life, the way that it's going, and i'm gonna do it the smart way. i'm not going to be depressed by broken expectations anymore, haunted by past failures. infested with its reeking stench while staying here in the same place. so after our final group project, it's goodbye to everyone. and maybe we might meet someday on the road, if any one ever decides to take on a similar journey.

i'm gonna have to think this whole thing through again anyways. map out  more details, especially the necessities. i'm not going to get into this blindly.

Do not stand in a place of danger trusting in miracles.- Arab Proverb

haha what's up with me and quotes tonight.. okay here's the last one.

Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing it, and conquering it. - Jean Paul Friedrich Richter 

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