Friday, March 15, 2013

Dreams And Reality

It's so weird I had a dream about this guy I liked a lot, the one that I've been trying to stop having feelings for, and been telling myself all the reasons why I shouldn't fall for him. I just had to come clean about this to get it off my mind.

In the dream, he finally said he loved me and I remember how relieved I felt and that the long wait is finally over. Before he told me those words, I remember thinking in the dream about how nice it would feel to hug this guy just because of how much I liked him. After he finally confessed in that offhand shy manner of his, we were just cuddling and kissing, looking into each other's eyes a lot. All the romantic stuff that couples do. Even more passionately when they're very new and very in love. Mind you, there was none of that F word. Later on, his friends came over because they got into trouble for stealing some stuff from the cleaning ladies, lol. Now that part was funny. The emotions I felt in that dream felt so strong and real that at one point, I think I wondered in that dream, whether what's happening is actually real. Confused between dream and reality.

Last night before I was asleep, I actually felt really sad that I might lose my ability to ever fall in love again, since I've been trying so hard to fall in love with progressing in my work instead. Because none of my relationships worked out so far. But then I had that dream. An emotion stirring dream. I guess I won't lose the ability to feel that kind of emotion after all. And I've been denying my feelings deep down for that guy. That peaceful relief I felt in that dream seemed so real. But I have to learn to truly let go of my feelings towards him in real life. He's leaving soon, and he doesn't feel the same way towards me. Two major red flags. Silly girl. I need to move on, I can't go on burying my unreciprocated feelings like this. I had to face those hidden feelings in that dream and that's never a good sign. The more you deny it, the stronger it gets. I really need to accept the facts, let go and move on in reality.

Another dream was that of my grandfather. Weird thing is that he didn't cut his hair and it looked like Albert Einstein's, lol. We were having a good time bonding and I took pictures of him because he asked me to. Now that was a happy dream. Haha. You know how dreams are about the subconscious mind and those things that we desire so much deep down? Well these dreams have a lot to tell me about myself.

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