I am in a new phase of my life right now. Doing things differently, doing things I don't normally do on a daily basis.
For one thing, I started reading a lot, and I mean a lot. One book finished, and I'll immediately start on another. It's like a new obsession, sort of. It's alright though, since my mum's place is somewhat like a library, only more laid back and relaxing. Books everywhere, in every room. I just have to walk around and find a title that pricks my interest. I trust her taste in picking out good books, so it's just a matter of what genre I feel like reading at the moment. It's not hard being a reader, you only need to be willing to let yourself get transported into a different realm, the author's thoughts in writing. I need to lose myself, no, detach myself, from everyday thinking, and I'm glad for those books.
Weekends at home are literally a getaway from my everyday routine. Since the phone bills aren't paid on time, the Internet gets cut off and I can't use the phone to call for food delivery or to call anyone to hang out. Even if the phone line is working, I avoid the Internet as much as I can. Completely cut off from the social online world; except when my mum is home, or when I head to the shop downstairs for nourishments, or when I head to the gym to work off any guilt from some naughty dessert I might've had.
I'm in a loner's paradise and I'm free to do anything that relaxes me, at my own pace. I find that it's pretty enjoyable to go about all of this half naked. When I'm completely home alone of course.
Just last year, I would be chatting up my friends online, or meeting new people, just because I was afraid of being bored and alone. For every free moment that I have, I would be frantically lining up social activities just to keep busy, 24/7. The number of dates and hang outs that I went through, I was spending a lot and had no time to myself. My schedule and emotions were a roller coaster.
It accumulated to too much for me at one point, that I made a vague promise to myself to slow down as a new year's resolution. It's already the new year now, and I'm still falling into the new rhythm of things. There were times when I got so depressed because of the things I was missing out on as my old self. Some jerks who were taunting me, that didn't help. I just need time to heal completely. To be able to stand on my own, and be at peace without expecting anything from other people.
This is where I develop that renewed liking for books. I used to be an avid reader when I was a young child, but I eventually lost that as I became more attached to real things and people as I grew up. Now, I'm letting myself get carried away by the fantastical power of the imagination as I go through book after book, undisturbed by nagging thoughts of the Internet and online socializing. I prefer my socializing to be more personal and face to face nowadays. If things start to get too lonely on my end, then I'll just call someone up and arrange a meeting. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and there would be many things to talk about when we're face to face. Too much dependency on the Internet is killing us. Socializing becomes a shallow necessity.
As Einstein said, "I fear the day when technology will surpass our social adeptness. It will be a generation of fools".
My journey is a pretty drastic one, where I needed to be literally cut off from those things and people I don't need, to be able to push myself in the direction that I want. I felt like I had too much baggage, and I just want to start traveling light from now on, haha.
I can go on forever about the deeper meanings behind that previous statement, but I'll leave it at that for now. I really want to write a book, but I'm still feeling inept experience-wise. Someday I might go through my blog posts for inspiration. Till then, Adios!
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