a friend told me that the holidays are when people wanna have fun. as for me, it's a time for me to have a nervous/depression breakdown and chill, trying to regain my sanity back. ha ha. it's just so funny this crazy cycle. one moment i feel extremely suicidal, questioning the core of the meaning of life.. the next i'm feeling optimistic again. who cares about me anyway. i'm sick of seeing myself write about 'me'. hate reading that word, sick of it. me, i, i'm, etc. it would be nice to have a writing gig someday. since i absolutely love it. and not having to write about myself. i did a few in the past, but they weren't big and the pay is absolutely hilarious. so basically i just did it for the experience. and yes, the experience was sort of worth it. because i got free admissions to several big movie premieres. all i had to do was to review them. haha. but the pay is, like i said, hilarious. the free admission's pretty good enough tho. just wish my gigs would get bigger. but yeah, it was good back then. although it sometimes clashed with my college obligations -,-
anyway, you know what job's cool? it's Donna Pinciotti's supposed future job as a rock journalist. it's from That 70s Show. that job would be so awesome. imagine going to the big rock festivals, like the ones in the netherlands. oh the netherlands.. they have so many festivals there, and most of the lineups are f ing awesome. unfortunately it's really hard to get into that country. to work.. trust me, i've done my research on that. i'm that serious. haha. unless you marry a dutch guy, or lucky enough to get a job transfer there. maybe i should work in the states, get to know a dutch guy (they attract so many different ppl there) who has the same interests and marry him. ah ha. a sabahan girl married a dutch guy, they're living in the netherlands now. the cheeky devil. oh f. and as a rock journalist, u can hang with the rockstars, talk to them, hang with them. i repeated that on purpose. haha. sometimes just dreaming alone makes me happy again. it's like, that's where i want to be, my somewhat goal that i initially started on. it's just that i'm off the track for a while.
living the teenage dream.. how lovely. it's like my eyebrow piercing. i've always wanted a lip ring or any other face piercing since i was in high school. now that i finally got one, i'm so glad. i guess i'm still just a teenager at heart. and i have a feeling i always will be deep down inside. like all the things that i've liked back then, but been suppressed as we get older. living the teenage dream. oh yeah. don't we all want it? um.. yeah? -,-