useless rambling. dont read (present post)

whew. so i just got back from a conference for film animators, which had speakers from really successful companies such as pixar and ILM. it was pretty inspiring. and the dose of inspiration that i knew i needed. but coming back from the talk, i was so exhausted and sleepy.. all because of my incessant thoughts. and you know how bad i am with really social settings that expects us to mingle with all these strangers. and i felt pretty intimidated. i feel like i look like such a boring old bag, in my grey outfit and bulky appearance. i think i need to stand out more, look more unique. then i'll feel more confident to mingle with these people. i feel so boring. after this i'm definitely gonna have to do something with my hair. i feel it's too boring. i already have an eye brow piercing, but i feel that my face, cant do any much better. so i wanna change my hair next. haha. but i see the problem definitely lies in my fattiness.but seriously, all the thoughts in my head making me tired and sleepy at the end of the day? that's a problem. at least i've started on my path on meditation. i really need to shut down these thoughts when it comes to mingling with people :( especially if i want to achieve my dream, i must mingle with 'intimidating' strangers. i only have one wish, that one day, i can mingle with anybody i want to, face to face, and expand my connections in this industry. i don't want to be stuck here. i want to move up and be with the best of the best. someday.. i will overcome this tedious obstacle. i have to. and i'm gonna love it.