Best date ever.

fuck me. I have fallen deeply in love again.. with my age old lover, rock/metal music. hahaha. last night was awesome, went out on a second date with this equally awesome guy. haha. what are the odds, a very good (and huge!) rock band performing a free concert, right on time for our second date. haha. but yeah, he's awesome, like all those things he does for me, are just exactly what I need. (and it's not just this second date). psst.. I'm hoping that he'll be around for a long time :p. anyways, I've never been to a concert with a date before, only with good friends, it may be awesome with them, but last night was even better. it was very sweet, and cool too. I mean, imagine this, it was cute (hahaha) holding hands, he hugged me from behind and we were singing along. I didn't care if I sounded horrible, but I try to stay in tune. Haha. everbody was singing out loud anyways. singing, screaming, woohoooo hoooo, hands in the air. haha. I feel sooo LUCKY to share that experience with someone so awesome. The band was awesome. Nothing beats live concerts. The whole experience and the whole vibe. The energy's infectious. Everyone letting go, headbanging, jumping, moshing. Haha, this totally brings out the inner me. So suppressed in daily life, as it SHOULDN'T be. I remember that there was this plant box in front of us that people used to stand on to get a better view of the stage. When it cleared out a little, he asked me if I wanted to stand on it, I said I didn't because I didn't want to obstruct the others' view behind me. Haha. then he replied with that was very courteous of me, and hugged me tighter. XD fuck I feel goddamn cheesy writing down every little detail. Lol, anyways, I envy the vocalist. It looked so satisfying, screaming your lungs out on stage, feeling the guitars vibrate through every fiber in your body. Ohhhhh wowww.... I may not be a huge fan of cheesiness, but it was so adorable that by the end of the concert, we finally started to hold hands. that's the second date. he sang the Beatles song, I wanna hold your hand. XD  It was cute when he hugged me from behind during the concert, and we held each others' pinky throughout a whole song.

Fucking tired after the concert though. We went out for a late dinner, at the area where he lives. He seemed very familiar and friendly with the people there. I'm happy for him :). and the good was food. Hahaha. He recommended this yummy drink for me, called I Love You. hehe awwwww. it was yummmmeh. but man he can drink. a LOT. haha. me being my weird self, enjoyed almost every mouthful with my eyes closed, humming whenever there's a silence. he commented on that and it was pretty funny that it feels totally normal for me, but actually odd from another's perspective. XD. ugh by the time dinner ended, I was literally shivering. another new experience for me. ah well, I didn't have enough sleep that day, worked hard for the first half of the day, and totally let myself go at the other half of the day during the concert, the drink was damn cold, it was 3am already. energy totally drained. until I was literally shivering. a first! haha. but everything was totally worth it. to spend time with him =D. after that damn cold bike ride home, he dropped me off with a hug and sneaked in a kiss on my cheek. hehe aww. so sweet :p. I wanted to stay a little while longer to talk and stuff, but my feet were on autopilot mode and dragged me off to the hostel. damn. my mind tells me otherwise, but my body totally does the other thing. haha it was funny, come to think of it. he seemed too tired though, and had a long ride back home, so I guess it was alright for both of us.

Haha I'm so totally writing down everything I could remember. I want to capture and relive that moment, whenever I re read this. I'm glad mum helped me a lot with my writing, when I was still a young, snot nosed kid. Haha. Man I feel drained on the inside from the experience last night. It was so good! I have a feeling that I need to fill up on experiences like that, I'd become a brand new me.. one that I've always dreamt of being. I'm happy, everyone around me is happy =D It's a positive attitude to spread around. Oh and I always get this nagging feeling in the back of my head, that something worse will happen after the awesome experience last night. But I tell that voice to fuck off. This could only mean more good things to come. I mean come on, the first half of my life, 20+ years of living, was mostly pretty bad. I'll most probably be living until I'm about 50, haha smoking, you know :p. So! The other half of my life could only be better than the first half. Cheesy as it sounds, it's already time for the dawn of a new life. I've always prayed for a good life, living the good life, positive highs on life, so it's due time that it's finally happening. I'm glad for the positive advice that I have received. Definitely gonna hold on to them!

I... treasure that moment, all of last night. Him, the music, the whole goddamn experience. shit. It's one of those moments I'll bring with me to my grave. Haha. It was that good. fuck me. I need to allow myself more time for the things I love. and not just do it alone. Jamming, concerts. just that, I've never had the 'opportunity' to do them. Friends busy, too far away, etc. But yes, I promise myself that I will give myself more of the good things in life. No matter how busy I am, I'm willing to make sacrifices just to have fun with life, like how I did last night. I did go out of my way to make room for our second date. I desperately need this positive high on life, to give myself more will to live on. I know he has his fill on them, and I'm glad for him. I don't want to get bogged down by life and all those sucky circumstances. Dictated by the courses of life, NO WAY. I'm aware that I'm the only one in charge of my life, and I will not let it get swayed, like it has been, unfortunately. No wonder I've been feeling extremely suicidal before this. Really, I considered suicide. Had a time frame planned out and everything. But then when he came along, when we went out for our first date, it really woke me up to the real potentials that life still has. It's kind of surreal, that someone could really do that for me. I really felt something snap inside of me, like an epiphany for the will to live on. So this is where the song by Hoobastank, The Reason, comes in. I feel like I could really do that.. for real. Change all of the negativity and depression that I've always had. Haha they were at the concert, best and last band in the lineup, and it was lovely when they finally performed that song. Singing our lungs out, and singing to each other (hehehhh). Never experienced anything like that before. You know, sharing something I love so much, with someone.. special :p. Man I'm goddamn shy at admitting wishy-washy feelings. Even in writing :p

I may not be a huge fan of Hoobastank, but I still like them. I think if I ever go to a concert of a band that I really love, I'd die. Cmon, like even now, I'm ecstatic from watching Hoobastank live. What if I go to an All That Remains concert? and if they play The Weak Willed.. Haha. I love Iron Maiden and Guns n Roses, but I'd have to go back in time for them. sigh. Ah well. :) Lol, my mum went to their concerts. Haha imagine that. I'm really happy for her.

Listening to old school heavy metal and rock bands. Smoking my ?th cigarette. Running out of writing steam.

Ending this post, with a positive high on life. I want to keep this with me forever. (him too, if I can :p).