Confusion

yoe, i'm sorry, i have been very selfish. i didn't actually love you, i didn't fall in love with you. you thought i loved you, but i was only searching for love... everywhere, in anyone. i never loved you, i was only searching for love on a higher level. i'm sorry. i used you. it hurts me, that i did that. when i fully realized that, i ended our relationship. because it's unfair of me to use you for your love. i'm sorry. i never loved you. i have been blinded by my own pain, and let myself use you.. in my search for love. i'm sorry yoe, i love you. but i don't don't love you.. as a lover. i'm sorry my confusion has hurt you. i'm sorry. i love you. but you know how i mean it. i'm still healing myself. i don't want to ever use anyone. never again. i don't want others to get hurt because of me. i'm still healing. i'm sorry yoe. i'm going to go lie down now.