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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

drunken ramble (not that i actually drink)

baby, i love you. i don't ever wanna lose you. you're the reason i'm right back on the path towards change. the light that cleared my darkness. the hand that lifted me out of my gloom. i am eternally grateful to you, and my feelings for you will never recede. even if you choose to push me away, i'll never forget the things that you did for me. the changes that you inspired in me, those changes that i've been longing for, but slowly fading away. i'll always remember when you held me tight, when we held each other tight. for i am not one to forget, especially great deeds such as yours. no matter how closed off or distant i may seem, those memories will always reside in me. although my health might fail, my mind might go insane, my physical being and mental state might deteriorate.. or i might actually commit the worst deed that i could have ever done, ending my life.. take a polaroid out of my dusty album, and you will find yourself, kept forever within my treasures. from within a sick mind like mine, you are elevated on a higher level. a halo of warmth which destroys any dark feelings i may have. whenever i'm with you, i always forget any darkness that i used to have. a kryptonite for the shadows that choose to reside within my twisted soul. i will always miss you. i cherish you, and i love you. never forget that.

"I'll never let you go, if you promise not to fade away, never fade away.." - Muse, Starlight

Another note to my mum and dad, little brother and sister, I will be missing all of the love that we had for each other. All the love that we showed, for all that's left  now is just a memory, either that which is a long gone memory, or just silent whispers of love that we have for each other. Your memories will forever stay in my heart, I cherish you, I always will. No matter how much of my mind that I seem to be losing, how quickly this dark specter drains the life out of me. My heart will always have a firm grasp on the love that I have for all of you. I'm writing all of this down, in case I forget. How I forget the words that I need to express my love, when all that is left is just me and the leftovers of my 'sanity'. An utterless, empty shell. I love you. 

Same goes to my best friends. You know who you are. Though you may not regard me as your ultimate best friend, but I do consider you as such. My loyalties and love will always reside with you. Please, all of my loved ones, do not take on the pain in your life. I'd like to take on your pains for you, sacrifice my sanity to keep you happy. It's as far as I can go, apart from being there for you. I love you. Take good care of yourselves.

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