Sunday, May 15, 2011

sad, and I don't wanna stay that way :(

fencing... i  really wanna join, but it feels like it's too late for me to get back in. which makes me sad. i want to rejoin, i do, but i don't know how to get back in :( i dunno, just so fucking depressed at the mo. probably cause i just woke up, i hope :( this too shall pass.

i hate it when depression sets in. i want to remain energized, happy. its probably cause i used it up yesterday, the whole of yesterday, till last night, till 'enlightenment'. ha. hung out with my close buddy and her crush. it was an interesting experience. although towards the end of the day, i was pretty tired and their constant flirting made me yawn. lol. fun though, with all them friendly city people. some people just makes me feel happy, while others make me feel like cutting myself. depressing as fuck. i still gotta get my things from the workplace, i guess i'll have to gather up my strength and ask them groupmates about the key to the place. but shit, they're cold as fuck. especially that one person whom i used to consider as one of my close friends. i guess the most dangerous and most evil of them all are the ones who put up an angelic front. we just don't know what's really going on in their head. but most of the time, if they're nice to you, you have something that they want / need. this sucks.

fuck why do i feel so fucking depressed. it's sunday already, and the whole day i thought it was saturday. fuck my perception of time is seriously warped. something feels really wrong, but i'm not so sure what it is. :( i'm so sad. i don't know why. God, please help me get out of this :(

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