its so weird, that, after a horrible bout of confusion, anger, loss and all those other shitty feelings, a sudden ray of hope pops up in my head. it comes from the little things that i remember, those small happy moments, kind and loving gestures, they just silence those horrible negative voices inside me. oh gawd, I wish those negative voices are silenced forever. I can't stand them. thank you, love, for making me happy again. love, you know, i'm talking about love. ah what the heck am i rambling about. but yes, i love it how sometimes a positive, loving voice sometimes comes up, to silence those dark voices at once. just gives me hope, you know, to move along.
anyway, dad took me shopping. a father daughter bonding day, lol. it's sweet in its own sense, but kinda funny, since i'm not used to it. XDDD. that was after we went to klcc. what are the odds, there was a career fair for me, a recent graduate, and an IT invention expo for him. lol. so we went to our thing, then he said i really needed proper attire for interviews. lol! awww. well, i do have some stuff that are alright, the ones that i used for my previous interviews, which landed me with quite high paying jobs too ^^ but i used my pay to buy a high end pc... for work! so yeah, today, my dear dad took me shopping for new attire. made me happy though, haven't had family time in a long while. =D =D. fucking tired though, especially if you're looking to buy something that you would want to be caught dead in, and isn't too costly. luckily, in the end, i found my perfect match :) man, shopping is like searching for true love, the right balance. hah. so there was this dilemma in getting office shoes that i would wanna wear, and what my dad approves. lol. i don't want anything gaudy. no fucking bows, no buckles. gosh. there were a few trial and errors, there was one that my dad said looks too plain for the office, not branded enough (yay, for branded stuff), needs to be leather, no open toed shoes. haha. kind of funny, trying to find the right balance. i was like, "i don't want anything too flashy". then here's the funny part, dad replied "in the office, the flashier the better". oh my god, i almost died laughing on the inside, just imagining wearing the flashiest shoes in the office. but yeah, i try to find that right balance, in the shoe with the right price. also don't want anything high heeled, because i'm paranoid that the heel would get stuck in a grate or a hole and i'd look like a fool trynna get my foot out. so i got these black pair of shoes, that had several studs, got a rocker vibe to it. not too many fucking studs, that's just too goddamn much. the price was waay cheaper than the shoes that i've been looking at, and they were hidden right at the bottom-most shelf, hidden behind all of the shoes. so i was really lucky that i searched that rack thoroughly. someone must have kept it there for themselves. but i found them, sorry bout that. such a relief, must have been three hours.
next, it was to find the right attire for an interview. in my head, here's my chance to get a black dress. heheh. it's such a multipurpose choice. could wear it for an interview with my existing blazer (none of that square nonsense. again, it's a cute one for a very very cheap price, after a very exhausting search. lucky yeah, to have found such a perfect combination, heh), wear it for the upcoming showcase event for our final year animation projects (where loads of companies are coming, and a chance for us to mingle and network =D), wear it to a nice dinner, dancing in the moonlight (aw damn. here comes my girly fantasies again. shit.), etc. but really, i'd die and fly off to heaven if i ever do get to dance in the moonlight with my loved one, my Special someone. ahh ha ha ha. you so funny. just imagine. off i go to my fantasy land again. *face palm*.
you know, for one thing, it's so much safer to fall in love with materialism. i've fallen in love with shoes, them pretty ones that i tried on just now, but can't afford... yet! mwahhaha. next, i'll be buying new clothes. hooray. work = love = new clothes and shoes. goes right back to my primitive affections. not all those electronic stuff that i feel obliged to be eyeing and buying. it's just so, work oriented. i have these on my list: an intuos tablet, new dslr lens, headphones, iphone, a better laptop, etc. but that's influenced from the lifestyle that i've been thrown into nowadays. i used to love going shopping for clothes and other girly things. didn't do much of that, so i guess that's partly why i have been so unhappy. so far away from my true love. ahhha. it's retail therapy, baby. soon, i'll reward myself with more of that. a happy taurean with her materialistic love. <3 pretty soft colored shoes, dark and sexy ones. shit, i got to wear some higher heeled ones sometime, they're just too pretty. now that i actually did some shoe shopping, i have already set my eyes on my Type. all i need is to get more cash flow and start buying them. oh lawdy, it'll be so lovely. i'll be happy again. i haven't gotten into clothes yet, but i will.. when i seriously start shopping for them sometime soon. mwahaha. i'll be gushing about them, maybe pages and pages of drunken ramblings. <3 <3 <3
if you were a guy, and your girl only has eyes for materialistic things like clothes, etc.. isn't that better than one who has her eyes on other guys. but then again, too much of something does get tiring. so much fucking girly shit in your place. ha.
i need to get more posts labeled as 'shopping' in here. you'll know i'm not as mentally disturbed as i was, recently. shopping = rigorous exercise (seriously, you should come with me) = endorphins and new stuff = happiness