Saturday, May 21, 2011

Wishes from one lonely person, to another.

No matter how empty life may feel sometimes, I'll always be here for you. I know you really miss having your mom in a huge part of your life, I will be here for you, to fill in that void. I will be here for you, to make your eyes shine with love and laughter again, shine like the beautiful stars in the sky. Little pinpricks spread across black velvet, I will paint you a beautiful picture, like the skies above that you love to gaze at.. all night long, I will hold you in my arms, if I could, I would, never let you go, until you fall asleep, off to a deep slumber. Sweet dreams and a soft kiss upon your cheeks, to sail you across the open seas, taking you far away from your sadness and fears. I will be here for you, even when your heart is breaking. I will wash away your loneliness, when everyone else seems distant, when you do not have a shoulder to cry on, nobody to open up to. I would hug you tightly, if I could. I will take your hands away, peel them from the things that you are holding on to. The things that keep hurting you. I will take your hands in mine, let my warmth flow into yours. I love you, please don't cry.

Words that I love to read for comfort, words I'd love to hear from another. As I'm writing it, I can't help but feel like it sounds like a wedding vow (for most of the part). Not that I'm big on weddings or anything. Geez. It's just so sad. This is just another note by a lonely person. I'm sad. Especially when I look at life as what it is currently. I don't know how to describe it with justice, but there's just that melancholy undertone whenever I look at life as a whole. It really won't matter, if I had you by my side. But if I have to do this alone, it will take time. It'll be a tough journey, but it can be done. But sometimes, I just wish I didn't have to do this alone. Sometimes, I wish we didn't have to hurt, when we can heal. Playing Bobby Darin's Somewhere Beyond the Sea makes me feel so much sadder.

Sure, I do take actions to secure a better life for myself, and hopefully my loved ones. I don't just sit here whining about shit. I do take steps forward, but sometimes, when I glance back, at the state that life is at, at the nostalgic memories of what used to be, it makes me sad.

I step upon the deck of the ship, ready to take me away, off to the new life that awaits me. My loved one(s) left behind, on land, separated by the flowing ebb of the sea. Sad eyes gazing back at them, a white handkerchief raised in goodbye, almost as if a flag of surrender, to the sorrows that have been haunting us. A salty breeze gently lifted the white fabric away, blown towards them. A token of my love. Forever yours to keep. Until I come back to you.

Damn, I think I could die if I keep listening to this song. If I had someone to share it with, I'd have his arms around me. Well, that's the beauty of sharing, of having someone to share it with. Someone who can appreciate it as much as you do. Love can be beautiful, an elixir that we're searching for. It is poison now. Well, it must not be love then. What is it, jealousy? Misunderstanding? Interfering baggage? Ha.

I can't keep doing this to myself. Always putting myself to sleep in a horrible state. Off to uneasy dreams, which stay with me sometime in my waking hours. :( I hate mind games. Enough, please..

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