Reminiscence. I'll never find anyone. Not after all that I've been through, it just feels unlikely. Hell, I must stop being so cynical. Oh but a little voice in the back of my head whispers, what if there is someone who breaks through that 'impenetrable' spell. Sometimes, I could just feel vestiges of it being dissipated, by that someone. But, I fall back into my old way of thinking, because it just feels too good to be true. I'm thinking, that it can't be true. I don't want to be too cynical. Alas, only time will reveal the truth. And confusion shall be my companion along the way.
Tonight, I just feel like crying my eyes out. Watch some sad movie, just to feel that deep sadness grip my conscience. Give in to it, and let the tears (that I have always been holding back) flow. It feels good to cry. Feels good to bawl. No particular reason, really. Especially not because of a silly reason like what I was writing about previously. Except most probably it's because it's the time of the month. Heh.
It's hard to cry though. Let alone watch some sad movie with the intention to cry. I might even be bored while watching the movie.. waiting for the tears to come. Zzz. Haha. It just comes, when it does. Pretty embarrassing if someone else was with me. Unfortunately, it happens quite a bit when I'm not alone. Ugh. Tears. Clearly I can't be an A-List actress. Not at this rate. I can't even make myself cry on cue. Lol!