Sunday, September 23, 2012

Take It Easy

I notice that things which happened pretty recently, feel like they happened ages ago. Somehow, it doesn't seem like such a good sign on my end, like I'm doing something wrong, and it's not supposed to be that way. I feel very much adrift sometimes when that happens. Pretty much alone, needing something to keep me grounded. I'm just drifting by in life, nothing much to hold on to. Since I'm very much alone, I've been trying to take care of myself (ok I know that sounds very selfish), by trying to instill some of that 'grounded' feeling. I'm not exactly sure where to go about for that, but I've been doing stuff that makes me happy. Like watching shows I used to love back then when I was younger (those happy days), reading books, listening to audio books of literary works that I've been wanting to read (like Through The Looking Glass, for example). Haha I've been brushing up on my literature recently. I stopped with the audio books for a while though, been watching game play videos. Basically indulge in solitary activities that make me happy. Sigh. And when shit hits the fan, it makes me feel really crappy on the inside, being so alone in the first place. Well, I've been somewhat reconnecting with my old friends, just trying to instill that wholesome feeling that I used to have when I had really good best friends back then. I just miss that feeling, I'm sick of feeling this way, like I'm alone and against this world as an older person. With not even my mum around just for that good old heart to heart talks. Yep, I miss those good old days. Nowadays, I feel somewhat at peace when I keep myself busy with something that I feel is useful. For starters, I love it when I spend a lot of time at the gym. I don't have to worry about some guy that I like who might be doing stuff with other girls behind my back, or the fact that I lost my best friends, let alone my ability to make new ones (HAHA). And I'm not gonna start piling up the list of problems that I should have taken care of by now. I hate worrying. I just want to be happy, and not hurt anyone in the process. Being happy, that's what life should be all about. It's kind of worrisome though, because when I find something or someone that makes me happy, I never want to stop or let go, haha. And usually it ends up pretty badly, I should have taken things moderately. It's just that I can't help it, after being miserable for such a long time, and when I finally found something good, I just want to keep it that way. Haha. I should take it easy with life. Don't worry so much, relax and be happy. And it's exactly what I'm going to do. Relax, be happy, and everything will fall into place, things will work out. Time has proven that again and again. And with my mind at peace with that, I shall go on with this. I just had to slowly ease my mindset back into this state, and I achieved that through my writing. Blogging. It's all about remembering how to be happy again. Time to hit the gym, so long, lovelies.

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