Smooth Sailing

I think it's a good thing that my boyfriend is the pretty distant type. As in, he doesn't message me every single day, he's keeping busy with his own life. It's a new thing for me, because before this, I would've broken up with my boyfriend if he seems so distant, not replying my messages. For now, I'm learning to exercise patience within me. If he doesn't reply my messages, I try my best not to flare up, and I trust him with what he does on his end. I trust him that he's not dating or sleeping with other girls. And to tell you the truth, I'm feeling pretty good about this patience thing. It's something that I really need to instill within me, and trust in my partner as well. So I have been keeping myself busy with things that interest me, I have stopped dating, I'm just hanging out with people that I already know, and even if it's guys, they already have a girlfriend and we don't do anything more than just hanging out and talking. Frankly, it's nice because then I get to ask them for a guy's perspective on things, especially regarding issues that worry me about my current boyfriend. It's nice to be doing things the right way, and to be confident in my partner that he's doing it right as well. I love this. It's all for personal growth, baby.

I think I may be a goody two shoes, but I'm loving it this way. I don't have any guilt in my conscience, and all I ask for is a partner that I can trust in as well. Life will be good.

Just now, I was hanging out with my ex, and I was pretty worried about that, but I knew he's not the type to pull any fishy or physical moves on me, so I agreed to hang out with him with exit plans in case he does anything fishy. But then as we got to talking, I was super relieved when I found out that he already has a girlfriend, and was happy when we were talking about his girlfriend, and I was talking about my boyfriend. It's pretty funny though, exes hanging out when they're already in a relationship with someone else. This, my friend, is called trust in our partners and in ourselves. Grow up, don't be so fucking naive nor irresponsible. I love growing up. So much freedom, trust and responsibility.

I think it's pretty sweet how when I was talking to my boyfriend, about what we have been doing during our time apart. When he mentioned he was doing some work with some girl, then when he sensed my oncoming jealousy, he mentioned that it was an auntie and how old she etc etc. Haha, how sensitive. And no, I don't distrust him as in he's lying to me and shit. I'm going with my instincts on this one and I feel safe enough to trust him when we're apart. So this time I feel that he deserves my utter loyalty, so I have stopped dating other guys. And with this new found trust within myself, I feel so much better. Relieved. Life is good. Smooth sailing.