Saturday, July 20, 2013


I've been feeling depressed that I'm not getting any headway in increasing my salary, they're not even giving bonuses. At all. Other people I know are getting raises. When I feel depressed, I create something, so that I'll feel good again. Because I've been learning so much in my free time, but they don't seem to appreciate my efforts. That's why I'm really pushing myself harder, to learn more, so that I finally can leave this bunch of unappreciative pricks, to a place where I can earn more for a living. Sigh, I'm not even anywhere close to my targeted salary, no matter how hard I work. I feel extremely unappreciated. Lately I've been broadening to freelancing. I was depressed, because at first these people were charging by the hour at a reasonable rate, but then they changed their mind to an amount that is TEN times less. Normally I'd just walk away and leave them stranded in the dirt, getting what they deserve for being STINGY. Perhaps I'll put in a couple of HARSH words to let them have a piece of my mind before I walk away. But no, I don't do any of that because it's my friend who asked for my help. It's just her seniors that I despise, for being super stingy and unappreciative with paying for the work that I'm going to be doing for them. I'm going to find out whether they're paying her well at work, and if they are, I'm going to put my feet down for a much higher payment for this project, since they don't have any trouble paying their in-house employees. But if they're not paying her well at work, then I'll convince her to leave those dirty bastards and get a better job. Unappreciative people deserve to be short staffed. Ha. I'm super pissed off right now. I have been for quite some time, but never let it out.

Anyways, bottom line is, I feel depressed with not making any progress with my earnings, even after 2 years. Nothing, nil, nada! I'm just being totally honest here, because I want to make myself feel as bad as possible, as shitty as possible, so that I'll be able to squeeze/force something miraculous out of myself. Self hatred, tough love, ha! And I'm thankful for the gym, for being a place where I can totally vent out my frustrations. Now it's only missing a punching bag. I wish they had one, perhaps I can suggest it to them.

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