Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Been feeling pretty sad today. Haven't been feeling like this in a while, maybe it's just the time of the month. It's the kind of sadness that I just feel like wallowing in.. Listen to sad songs and shit. Then look forward to gym, in hopes that it'll lift my mood up. I just got back from the gym by the way. Feeling slightly better, but felt pretty cranky at the gym today. Hm, I wonder what's it like if I had a boyfriend that I'm in love with, in times like these. Haven't had one in a long time. I'm sick of empty flings, they're bullshit. Totally not worth it, except for the momentary happiness. Times like these, I'm just wishing that the emo ness will pass quickly and that good vibes will come again soon. I pretty much hate being single in times like these, but I know I'll be single and okay once this mood passes. Gonna have a good time in fact. Being single would feel like such an advantage. In the meantime, pray that this slight sadness passes by quickly. I can't stand feeling down for long. Damn, so sleepy but I'm stinking like hell after gym. Need to shower, but damn I'm so sleepy, lol. Had a can of beer by the swimming pool just now, and smokes of course. Just the usual, chilling alone. Sad times like these, I appreciate those moments where I could just get drunk or high, without a care in the world. Just being a zombie, movements on autopilot. Feelings ignored. Just... Being high. Numbs out whatever it is that's bothering me. Yeah.. Just being numb. Good for times like these. I'm pretty bored at the moment, nobody's responding to my chats. I wonder what they're all up to. Funny how at certain times, everyone seems to be too busy to be bothered to reply my messages. And after that, everyone suddenly seems to e free and they're all responding to my messages at once. Lol. I wonder what's going on. So there was this one guy I used to fancy a lot, and I hung out with him and his friend last night. And that reminded me why I didn't really go for him in the first place - too much drama for one guy. And that's all so unnecessary. Haha, and to think I was gonna give him another chance. Too much drama. I hate that. All I need now is someone chill and I can really fall for. No complications. It's the last thing I need now. That's why I'm really into this other guy now, but he seems to be pretty busy, like everyone else. I wonder what the hell is going on with people now. I'm so lonely. But this loneliness I can get used to, I was used to. But today I was just extra sad, triggered by the hangout with the guy I was with last night. Hope someone would be free enough to reply my messages. :(

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